cracked***??!@**

i am hunted by this feeling again..the feeling of being sorry for being me...i just hate this feeling and i would nevr ever want it to appear again if only i can help it..
we all do have our own light, right? and yet other people's light could sometimes overshadow ours..and that's when we feel unworthy of anything..
i am too old to have an identity crisis..i know what i am now..or at least, i guess i do..

i thought i've already learned how to be optimistic..i thought i could now easily go on with my life..i thought i was ready to face it...but it seems like i was/am wrong again...

hindi talaga madali.. minsan naiisip kong magpakalayu layo nalang at mabuhay sa sarili ko..siguro pag ganon hindi na ko makakaperwisyo ng iba...

nakakainis lang kasi hindi pwedeng hintayin ko munang maging maayos ang lahat bago ko mabuhay kasi buhay na ko ngayon at umaandar ang buhay habang naghihintay ako...sa hindi ko alam...

tama.. hindi talaga madali... nakakalungkot na ang ibang tao nabubuhay ng normal...ikaw hindi..

nakakainis pag may mali sayo kahit hindi mo naman gusto..

ang totoo, sa tingin ko, ok lang sakin ang ijudge ako ng iba..masakit mahumiliate pero i learned to handle humiliation because im so much used to them... ang hindi ko lang matanggap kasi alam kong i'm so much more than this... im so much better than this person na nakikita ng mga tao..

naiinis ako for being sick..naiiinis ako kasi this sickness is holding me back to let other people see my light...
naiinis ako dahil nanghihinayang ako... nanghihinayang ako kasi hindi nila ko nakilala.. hindi ako nakikilala ng mga tao... hindi nila ko narinig.. hindi ko sila narinig... nakita nila ako--yung tip ng ice berg pero hindi nila nakita yung portion below..

oh...life... buhay...