kwento ng drawing

the canvass

the faceless apparition of hope
there is, was, will be no certainty
entangled by the life's curse
you allow your hair to fall freely on your back
you allow it to brush the fabrics of your shirt...
his face barely visible
among the colors of that pasteled paper
with your arms wrapped around his back
they hang freely in front of his shoulders
with his hair brushing your face..


you realized..

he is no longer there...

drawing bata

alaala lang kasi ang meron..
mga alaalang ginuhit na lamang ng bata sa papel..







may kwento kase sa likod ng alaala..
kaya iginuhit na lamang ito ng bata sa papel

inaantok ako..

inaantok ako
kaya di ako makapagtrabaho
inaantok ako
pero di ako makatulog
inaantok ako pero hindi parin ako matutulog mamaya
kaya malamang bukas
inaantok parin ako

busy with activities but not quite..i have a fully booked schedule this week to meet my friends..i met one last night and i had fun..

been looking at pictures lately.. it made me surprised when i found out that his picture could still hurt me even now...i hate the way he did those pose..i hate the way he smiled then..i hate it cause his pictures make me remember him..and i dont want to..perhaps..it has something to do with my pride..it was my pride--not me--that he hurted--or hurts..i dont know..i hate it because i thought he'd love me even if i'm not gonna love him back.. i thought that distance could never make him forget me.. myfault..i made a wrong assumption again..but i dont care..

me and my girl friend had a talk yesterday..and we talked about boys, of course.. its been a long time since a had a good laugh..nothing uplifts you more than seeing an old friend... hai..

walang kahit isang hiblang humor na naibahagi sakin si kiwi..

grabe ang galing nia...

nabubuhay muli ang dugo ko...


***gru***~~~
***gru..gru***

gusto ko rin magpa pierce ng ears..wala lang..para may extra..
ayaw ng nanay ko.. magmumuka daw akong adik..

bakit ba di ko sinusuway ang nanay ko??

***gru..gru..gru***

freshly out of water..

sinubukan kong isipin pero wala yata akong utak..
pag nalulungkot ako.. nagpapanggap akong hindi.. gaya nung bata ako na pag meron akong sugat hindi ko pinapakita sa iba.. feeling superhero kasi ako ng sarili ko.. ewan ko... alam ko naman na hindi lahat ng problema kayang kong sulusyonan
pero pag may ibang tao kasing nakakaalam ng problema.. pakiramdam ko lumalaki ang problema...
buhay.. hihilingin ko parin bang sana ay normal nalang ako?? ewan ko..
lahat kasi ng tao may crus na dapat pasanin..pag wala kang problema di ka siguro tao..baka alien ka..

ewan ko..naalala ko yung mga panahong masaya ko tapos malulungkot ako.. pag naaalala ko yung malungkot nalulungkot parin ako..sa bahay pinipilit kong magmukang masaya.. tipong pang best actress ang arte ko..kilalala kasi nila ko..isang maling kilos mabubuko ako...
siguro ... nagdududa rin ako na baka alam rin nila..pero basta ang mahalaga hindi na namin pinag uusapan un...tapos magpapanggap nalang na walang problema..

salamat at wala ng sleepless night ngayon..sabi ko kagabi wala akong maramdaman tipong parang hindi ako tao.. pero meron din pala kasi nagulat nalang ako.. naiiyak na pala ko..

para talaga akong walng utak... hindi ko kasi alam kung anong meron.. hindi ko maintindihan kung anong nararamdaman ko..
di ko ma discribe... di ko maiisip..

ayoko ng kahit anong ka cornihan..ayoko magmukhang corni kahet sa sarili ko lang... kahit pano meron parin akong mga pinapahalagahan..pinoprotektahan kaya..hindi parin siguro ako pwedeng mawala basta..

pag tinatagalog ang kwento mas mukang galing sakin...tama na ang pagpapanggap na magaling ka dahil in the end of the day.. makumbinsi mo man ang sarili mo,, di na yon mahalaga..
ang haba ng entry na to..baka matulog na yung taong babasa--kung meron..sakali mang may matisod sa blog na 'to... hindi na mahalaga..

"some people wake to find the sunshine
i always wake to find the rain.."

i just love rainy days..it makes me cheerfully sad..yeah..ironic..but just consider it as one of MY LIFE's paradox..

rainy days are just so romantic--(hey..did i just heard an eww!!!)..romantic in a different sense.. i like the leaves when they're wet..i like it when the sound of the rain muffles any other sound...i like the silence of the rain..it makes me clear headed..it drives away my troubles like they never really existed...

i just love the rain...

"when i leave..let it be on rainy days.."--zaia quote